© Julie Boyd
My mate Trev and I grew up together. Trev is white with a curly tail like a pig. He is low to the ground and very speedy. I’ve got long gangly legs, and a long tail that waves all the time and I’ve got different colours. I can’t beat him but I can usually outsmart him. His human tells people that he’s ‘decorative more than brilliant’ whereas my human describes me as ‘smart as a whip but very lazy.’ I’ve never actually met a whip, but I have seen them being used by those little blokes who ride horses very fast on TV, and I’m sure smarter than them and their whips. If they just got off the horses’ backs they’d run very fast just to get away from the whips.
When Trev and I were little we used to get up to all sorts of adventures. Hiding in the grass was always fun. Trev was so low that he’d get lost and just run around in circles making the grass move, but I could always see where he was- he never figured that out.
Trev is a great mate. Whenever anyone would bring food out it was always for me. So I’d hide mine then start a growly game to trick Trev into giving me his as well.
We used to love watching TV together. Inspector Rex , and the dinosaurs, and the monkeys were always good wuffing material. We’d stand in front of the TV and dance and yell our heads off. I told you I’m a smart person. I’d gone looking for Inspector Rex one day behind the big tv box, and he wasn’t there. But when I came back to the front he was. It took me a while but I figured out that TV was really just moving pictures so we were quite safe wuffing at big people. I told Trev and he didn’t believe me for a bit, so I suggested he ask them if he could go and play. He used to race up to the big people at the puppy park and sometimes they’d snap at him. I didn’t because a lot of them weren’t very friendly and I like to choose my friends carefully. So from then on, everyone he saw on TV he’d ask them to play- and no one ever did. But they didn’t snap at him either.
We always had a lot of fun pretending to be whoever we saw. Trev used to especially like the packs of hunting dogs racing across the paddocks, but I was pretty hooked on Inspector Rex and used to go off sleuthing a lot. My sleuthing got me into trouble a bit. Whenever the front door was open I’d bolt outside as there were always crimes to solve out there, and if I ran fast enough I could get away. One day as I was belting down the road I could hear Trev’s human who we always call Bob (even though that’s not her name) yelling at me ‘Jorge stop’. I was on a mission so I really couldn’t. I raced over to the big empty space where there were lots of men humans doing stuff with square trees. There was a big box near them that they would go into sometimes and the smell of it was just out of this world.
On this particular day I headed for the box, intent of discovering at least one new smell when Bob yelled ‘a schmacko for whoever catches him.’ Well, next thing I knew I was locked inside the box and I could hear them all laughing outside. I heard Bob say ‘thanks Kenny’ as they opened the door and she picked me up. I figured I really had the last laugh though as being locked in with all those smells was pure heaven. I only wished that I could have rolled more in them so I could take the experience back and share it with Trev. Later I saw Kenny on tv and he had lots of boxes at his place. That was one time when I wished that TV was real as I’d loved to have gone home with him for a while. That night I had wonderful dreams about rolling in the boxes at Kenny’s place. I must have been talking in my sleep because Trev nudged me and I fell off the sofa where we used to sleep, onto the floor and gave myself a big surprise.
Trev and I also took a great interest and pride in home decorating. We used to work very hard when Bob and my human went out for the day. We didn’t mind them going because they’d come home and bring packets of schmackos and chicken necks, and wings and all kinds of stuff. So we thought that if they were off working it was only fair that we did the same. We’d spend entire days arranging baskets full of washing all over the house. Trev used to chew stuff a lot so he was in charge of creating the holes so you could see the carpet, or the cushions through the clothes. He was good on decorating shoes as well. My specialty was toothbrushes and flowers. I love flowers and whenever I could I’d take them out of those containers with the water in them and sprinkle the coloured bits all over the floor. My human would get the noisy sucker thingy out of the cupboard sometimes and suck up everything off the floor to prepare it for us which was nice of her. She wasn’t overly impressed by our efforts, but Bob was. She’d come home and compliment us on the balance of colour and texture we’d achieved in our latest presentation. She was particularly impressed by what she called my ‘interest in dental hygiene’. I never knew what she really meant but she always sounded happy to see us and we were always happy to see her so I’d just wag my tail a lot.
As I’ve grown up I don’t go to visit Trev and Bob so much these days. Getting there used to be fun. We’d get my box out of the shed, and as soon as I saw that I knew it meant a trip on the plane so I’d get very excited. We’d go in the car to the airport and I’d sit on a cushion so I could see out the window. Then the men at the airport always made a big fuss of me. I only ever met one awful man. The rest would sit me on their laps as we drove over the plane before I’d get shut in my box for a while. Then when we arrived I’d get on a moving belt with all the luggage and come out through some curtains as if I was making an entrance at the Oscars (saw them on TV too). Bob would grab my box and let me out then Trev and I would race around the airport while Bob and my human would tell everyone we were ‘trainee sniffer dogs’. But times have changed and we can’t do that any more. Travelling on planes is awful now and I’d really rather stay at home. So Trev and I use computers now to keep in touch. We started using email but now we can even see each other so we have lovely chats. I’m not really sure how it works- it’s like TV only real, but he’s still not there- I’ve checked.
When we do get together now, it’s just like old times. We’re still best mates. Even though we’ve grown up and I live at the beach, there are always so many stories to share. Our growly games and our adventures and sharing our sleeping spots haven’t changed a bit- and I can still trick him out of his food.